Book Surgeon No. 8

Happy Sunday everyone! Just a small note before the regular programming. I am trying a new platform for my newsletter this week, so let me know if you want to bring anything to my attention about the ease of reading, layout, concerns, preferences, etc. That’s it. Enjoy!

This week, I reread one of the most moving books of all time–When Breath Becomes Air by neurosurgeon Paul Kalanithi. The book is not very long, but Kalanithi does a great job of packing each of his words with tremendous meaning. As one of the nation’s top surgeons, Kalanithi found a career where life meets death, and this proximity to mortality allowed him to learn much about the qualities that make a life meaningful. Kalanithi, in his own words, describes the responsibility of certain doctors and surgeons that meet patients at “the most authentic moments, where life and identity [are] under threat; their duty included learning what made that particular patient’s life worth living, and planning to save those things if possible–or to allow the peace of death if not. Such power required deep responsibility, sharing in guilt and recrimination.” As Kalinithi points out, the process of figuring out what makes life meaningful and worth living is unique to every individual. For some people, our ability to build and maintain relationships is what makes life worthwhile. Others greatly value their ability to impact others and the world around us. Taking moments throughout our life to ponder what defines life for us can be an incredibly valuable exercise: our personal answers will not only help guide how we want to live our lives today but also give us guidance in the face of difficult end-of-life decisions. 

For many people, our mortality is considered too grim to talk about; however, with a change of perspective, our mortality can be beautiful. If we allow it to be, it can be a reminder of the beautiful life we are living in the present moment. There is no escaping death. It is perhaps the only guaranteed event in our lives. So, why do we feed its power by being afraid of it? Not thinking about death will not make it go away. Thus, rather than ignoring death, which gives it even more power over us, we can use it as a tool to remain present and grateful, allowing us to find more peace and contentment in our lives. Kalinithi illustrates how medical school and residency trained him to “actively engage with death, to grapple with it, like Jacob with the angel, and, in so doing, to confront the meaning of a life.” Life and death are two sides of the same coin: by avoiding death, we avoid life as well. Part of life’s tremendous beauty is its fleeting nature. Only until we acknowledge the finite nature of life can we truly appreciate the immense tranquility and beauty of the breath we are taking at this very moment. 

Many of us are fortunate enough to have the option to be passive about life, to avoid thinking of the inevitably of death if we so desire. However, diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer at the age of 36, Kalinithi was forced to confront death head on–just as many of his patients had before. Due to his incredible bravery, strength, and selflessness, Kalinithi embarked on the challenge of writing this book despite his suffering and closing time window. In turn, he presents us with a perspective from a life situation that most people will hope to never have, and we can use these insights to improve our own lives, which will only add value to Kalinithi’s sacrifice for us. Specifically, by building a better understanding of what is truly meaningful to us, we can avoid spending time in pursuit of the things that are less meaningful to us. In turn, we can focus our time and efforts on the parts of our life that we highly value, whether it be our relationships, the number of people we impact, the number of cars we have, or the number of countries we visit. Everyone derives meaning from different areas of life, so the pursuit of meaning will look different for everyone. We cannot rely on others to discover what will give us meaning: we can only find this source of happiness from within ourselves. The clearer we understand our deepest sources of meaning, the better we will be able to align our goals with our individual values, which will not only bring us deeper satisfaction with life but will also contribute to the likelihood of personal success.

Thanks for reading!