Book Surgeon No. 11

Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson has a deeper understanding of the mind than most people, which he built through his academic studies, research endeavors, and clinical experiences with his patients. In his book, 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, Peterson lays forth twelve guiding principles to help us navigate our life’s journey. In the introduction, Peterson illustrates the two fundamental forces of the world around us: order and chaos. Order is the “world of social structure, explored territory, and familiarity”, while chaos is “where–or when–something unexpected happens … [like when] you suddenly find yourself without employment, or are betrayed by a lover.” As Peterson illustrates, order and chaos “are the yang and yin of the famous Taoist symbol: two serpents, head to tail. Order is the white, masculine serpent; Chaos, its black, feminine counterpart. The black dot in the white–and the white in the black–indicate the possibility of transformation: just when things seem secure, the unknown can loom, unexpectedly and large. Conversely, just when everything seems lost, new order can emerge from catastrophe and chaos. For the Taoists, meaning is to be found on the border between the ever-entwined pair. To walk that border is to stay on the path of life, the divine Way. And that’s much better than happiness.” Just as there is no yang without yin, there is no order without chaos, and vice versa. Peterson asserts that a life of pure order–pure yang–is boring, undesirable, and lacking in meaning; a life of pure chaos–pure yin–is disorderly, difficult, and depressing. To Peterson, the key is to find the proper balance in our lives of these two forces: “we require routine and tradition. That’s order. Order can become excessive, and that’s not good, but chaos can swamp us, so we drown–and that is also not good. We need to stay on the straight and narrow path … That’s where we are simultaneously stable enough, exploring enough, transforming enough, repairing enough, and cooperating enough. It’s there we find the meaning that justifies life and its inevitable suffering.”

How do we find the narrow path between order and chaos and thus achieve more meaning in our lives? Peterson lays forth twelve practical pieces of advice, which are outlined below, as well as a favorite quote of mine from the corresponding chapter:

1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back: “People, like lobsters, size each other up, partly in consequence of a stance. If you present yourself as defeated, then people will react to you as if you are losing. If you start to straighten up, then people will look at and treat you differently.”

2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping: “Don’t underestimate the power of vision and direction. These are irresistible forces, able to transform what might appear to be unconquerable obstacles into traversable pathways and expanding opportunities … ‘He whose life has a why can bear almost any how.’”

3. Make friends with the people who want the best for you: “It’s appropriate and praiseworthy to associate with people whose lives would be improved if they saw your life improve. If you surround yourself with people who support your upward aim, they will not tolerate your cynicism and destructiveness. They will instead encourage you when you do good for yourself and others and punish you carefully when you do not.”

4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today: “What you aim at determines what you see … To journey happily may well be better than to arrive successfully … Ask, and ye shall receive. Knock, and the door will open.”

5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them: “Clear rules make for secure children and calm, rational parents. Clear principles of discipline and punishment balance mercy and justice so that social development and psychological maturity can be optimally promoted.”

6. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world: “Don’t blame capitalism, the radical left, or the iniquity of your enemies. Don’t reorganize the state until you have ordered your own experience. Have some humility.”

7. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient): “He who contrives, defeats his purpose; and he who is grasping, loses. The sage does not contrive to win, and therefore is not defeated; he is not grasping, so does not lose.”

8. Tell the truth–or, at least don’t lie: “A lie is connected to everything else. It produces the same effect on the world that a single drop of sewage produces in even the largest crystal magnum of champagne.” 

9. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something that you don’t: “Listen is paying attention. It’s amazing what people will tell you if you listen. 

10. Be precise in your speech: “You must determine where you are going in your life, because you cannot get there unless you move in that direction.”

11. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding: “It’s a good idea to tell the person you are confronting exactly what you would like them to do instead of what they have done or currently are doing … No one has a direct pipeline to your wants and needs–not even you.”

12. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street: “When you love someone, it’s not despite their limitations. It’s because of their limitations.”

Thanks for reading! Share with others if you enjoy! See you next week!