Book Surgeon No. 3

To start today’s edition of Book Surgeon, I will honestly say I have mixed feelings about The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I like the big picture idea of figuring out how to tidy up our lives and getting rid of much of the clutter that no longer serves a purpose in our lives. However, Kondo spends much of her book writing about how to discard and organize most of the common belongings of a home, and ultimately, I found many of her methods to be impractical or unnecessary for my own life. For instance, Kondo recommends an intricate folding maneuver for one’s sock and warns to “never, ever ball up your socks.” However, I greatly enjoy my method of balling my socks and do not imagine implementing her complex folding technique in the near future. Thus, it is critical for a reader of Kondo’s advice to find the unique techniques that are the most effective for your own circumstances. The extreme variety and individualistic nature of organizing is why I believe Kondo finds great success working directly with clients as a professional organizer and consultant–where she can offer tailored advice to her clients and homes.

Philosophically, I thoroughly enjoyed Kondo’s approach to tidying, which starts with the art of discarding. Getting rid of our belongings is an incredibly daunting challenge, but Kondo helps us begin this process by encouraging us to ask one question: “does this [belonging] spark joy?” When embarking on our own discarding quest, we ought to only keep items that bring us joy in the present, not in the past, or in the future. When we hold the item physically in our hand, we are surprisingly good at immediately knowing which items bring us immense joy. Even if an item once brought us significant joy, if it does not presently bring us joy, it will have served its purpose and we should respectfully discard it. According to Kondo, “to truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.” From a psychological perspective, I find this process to be incredibly enlightening and introspective. Is there any better way of finding your true self than by better understanding what brings us direct joy? To me, this philosophical approach to discarding outlived possessions can serve as a particularly rewarding and productive session of introspection–an alternative to the more conventional method of journaling one’s emotions. As Kondo writes, “when we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.” Thus, when we learn and practice the art of discarding, we learn to live more fully and contentedly in the present.

To Kondo, a Japanese native, the process of discarding is perhaps much more conventional than for an American reader, who is often taught to always strive for more–to constantly seek a promotion, to travel more of the world, or to impact more people. However, discarding and simplifying one’s life is much more common in Eastern cultures–such as those found in Asia–and reminds me of one of my favorite Chinese philosophers, Lao Tzu. In his book Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu warns of the danger of excess, extravagance, and arrogance: “knowing when to stop one can be free from danger.” A key message of Tao Te Ching–the foundational text of Taoism–is that peace and contentment are found by discarding and simplifying one’s life. Unfortunately, Western culture tends to encourage the opposite–that happiness can be achieved through an endless accumulation of wealth and accomplishment. Yet, while we think achievement will bring us lasting happiness, we all experience hedonic adaptation, a psychological bias that constantly brings us back to a relatively stable level of happiness, in spite of external changes to our environment. As a result of this bias, the actual happiness we experience when we make a purchase or obtain a raise is much more fleeting than we initially expect. Hedonic adaptation also helps explain how individuals suffering a traumatic accident or terminal illness can find more joy in their lives than a healthy person years after the initial shock of the incident or diagnosis. Ultimately, we are psychologically biased to overestimate the effect changes in our environment will have on our happiness, helping us convince ourselves that we can eliminate our distress or grief by achieving a promotion, by getting 1000 more followers, or by buying a larger home. Yet, as we buy more and achieve more in our lives, we begin comparing ourselves to a new subset of the population, which once again compels us to feel inferior or inadequate. In turn, we continuously convince ourselves that these unwanted feelings will go away by achieving more, and we keep running on the hedonic treadmill for the rest of our lives. 

Sometimes slowing down and limiting your desires–even when everyone around you seems to be sprinting by–is the solution to improving our happiness and mental health. There will always be someone richer, smarter, more powerful, or better looking: if we are always trying to catch those above us, when do we stop and appreciate our own beauty and all we have already done? Understanding when we have enough is critical for feeling content with our lives, and starting with learning to discard our material possessions is one strategy for finding contentment with less. Specifically, in The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Kondo uses the process of organizing one’s living space to illustrate the art of discarding. By applying her techniques to our own life, we will not only free up space in our homes but also find happiness by limiting ourselves strictly to the belongings that truly bring us joy.